The Naked Civil Servant

We watched The Naked Civil Servant last night (recorded off the TV a while back), a dramatisation of Quentin Crisp's life made in 1975. Considering that it was made 33 years ago, it really is a classic bit of TV drama. The thing that was the most disturbing about it, however, was the way in which nearly everybody in 1930s England was violently homophobic. Quentin Crisp used to get slapped by passing women in broad daylight. You forget sometimes what really vicious homophobia is like, until it happens - again - to someone you love.

Also shocking were those gays of the 1930s who were so in the closet that Quentin's flamboyant queerness was too much for them; they did not see that he was the future, that he was fighting for the cause of gay liberation by being out, loud and proud. I am glad that he lived to see significant progress in the field of gay rights, and to be honoured for his achievements.

The weirdest bit is at the end, when we arrive at the "present" (1975), and I was so engrossed that I forgot that that was when it was made and therefore it must be the end of the film.

I am more full of admiration for Quentin Crisp than ever.

there's nothing magical about fathers

The Guardian reports on the discussion of whether lesbian couples should be allowed IVF treatment:

But "there's nothing magical about fathers," says Susan Golombok, professor of family research and director of the Centre for Family Research at the University of Cambridge, and co-author of Growing Up in a Lesbian Family. "Fathers who are very involved with their children are good for children. But fathers who are not very involved - they aren't as important, and can even have a negative effect. It's a very simplistic notion to think that fathers are important just because they're male."

Don't boys need male role models? "The thing is that fathers make absolutely no difference to their children's development of masculinity or femininity," she says. "Studies that have looked at single-parent families have not found that boys are less masculine or girls less feminine. In fact, it seems that parents make very little difference to the masculinity or femininity of their sons and daughters. The peer group is more important, and the stereotypes that are around them in their day-to-day life. Even in families where parents try hard to influence their children's gender developent, where they try to stop their sons being very masculine, for example, and try to make them more gender-neutral, actually find that whatever they do makes no difference whatsoever. Fathers are important more in terms of emotional wellbeing, not in terms of role models."

As for the lesbian issue, says Golombok, "There's now been more than 30 years of research in Europe and the US, that has found very consistently that children raised in a lesbian household are no different from children in heterosexual families, both in terms of their psychological adjustment, and also in terms of their gender development, and in terms of their relationships with other children.

In (neo-, meso- and paleo-) Pagan societies, there are and were many models of bringing up children (and many models of gender). Some tribal societies don't bother to keep track of who is the father of which child; some are patrilineal, some are matrilineal. In India, they have a saying that "It takes a whole village to bring up a child." We should be much more worried about the loss of the extended family, and the tribal community in which a child can get advice and help from any member of the community, not just its parents. The 'nuclear family' model seemingly advocated by the Conservative party is claustrophobic and probably dangerous to children on the grounds that abusive practices can happen within the four walls of the home without anyone else finding out (especially if the family is outwardly respectable). Other traditional societies have extended families to share childcare. Even if a child did need a role model of the same gender (which Professor Golombok's research seems to show is unnecessary), you could aways have a gay couple and a lesbian couple sharing the parenting.

So we need to rethink our society's model of what a family is; and we also need to rethink the primary position we give to gender in considerations of many issues where it is irrelevant.

Of course, individual dads may well be very magical indeed - but it's not their maleness that makes them so, but their unique style of parenting.

Go California!

Yay! The State of California has re-legalised same-sex marriages. I particularly like this bit of the ruling:

there can be no doubt that extending the designation of marriage to same-sex couples, rather than denying it to all couples, is the equal protection remedy that is most consistent with our state’s general legislative policy and preference

Also available from the New York Times (with photos of happy couples celebrating).

And according to the BBC,

The decision is expected to re-invigorate the fight for same-sex marriage rights nationwide, say gay activists and legal experts.

This makes me so happy.

IDAHO

Tomorrow I am going to IDAHO:

There are 77 countries in the world today where it is a criminal offence to be gay. These countries punish women, men and children because of their sexuality and in seven countries the punishment is death.

An International Day Against Homophobia (IDAHO) provides a platform for everyone to make a powerful statement to demand improvements for the quality of life for LGBT people both overseas and here in the UK. The 17th May can be used to raise awareness of homophobic issues that are negatively impacting on people’s lives and to showcase success stories where a positive change has been achieved.

IDAHO, the International Day against Homophobia and Transphobia, takes place on May 17th every year. It was on this date, in 1990, that the World Health Organisation removed homosexuality from their list of mental disorders.

extreme bigotry

I was searching for information to verify this story about children's books about gay relationships being withdrawn from a school (which is bigoted enough), when I came across this story about a lesbian woman who was denied access to her dying partner by bigoted homophobic hospital staff.

The second story demonstrates why children need to be shown that there's nothing wrong with same-sex relationships, so they don't grow up to be the kind of bigot who would refuse to let a woman visit her dying partner.

in memoriam

In memory of Martin Luther King Jr, murdered on this day in 1968.

"I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: 'We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal.'"
"I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character."

Soulforce have a special update today reflecting on the relevance of Dr King's message to the struggle for LGBT equality; the parallels are quite startling.

While LGBT people defend their own dignity and struggle toward liberation, there are those within the Methodist denomination who would seek to attack the disenfranchised and label them "disrespectful, disruptive, and self-righteous."

Similarly...

In 1939, the Methodist Church told African Americans they were not welcome in the same church pews as whites and the Central Jurisdiction was formed as a racial compromise.

would you Adam and Eve it?

Parents in Manchester have complained about naked swimming, claiming that it's unhygienic (though it's obvious that the complaint is really just motivated by prudery).

The naked swimming is taking place in a private, closed session in a public pool (so no-one actually sees the naked people in public). The group concerned book the swimming pool of an evening.

Parents have complained that their children subsequently have to swim in the same pool. Well, as various commenters on the story have pointed out, swimming trunks are not an impermeable membrane - people's naked tackle is touched by the communal water when they've got swimming trunks on as well. Besides, that's what chlorine is for.

It's just a small-minded response to the idea of nudity. Though I wonder if the fact that the naked swimming group also happens to consist of gay men might have something to do with it.

Justice is done

I am extremely glad to hear that the evil Westboro Baptist Church, who spew hate at funerals of both gay people and soldiers killed in Iraq (claiming that God is punishing America for its "tolerance" of gays - not that it is entirely tolerant towards us) have been fined $10,900,000 for their actions at the funeral of Matthew Snyder, a soldier who was killed in Iraq. As they have been behaving like this for over a decade, it is a shame that it has taken their appearance at soldiers' funerals for something to be done about it. Fortunately the good people of Angel Action have been there from the start, shielding the mourners from the hate-mongers.

If the mere mention of the evil of Westboro has left a bad taste in your mouth, then I recommend a visit to the SoulForce website, which is all about LGBT and straight people of faith working together to end prejudice and discrimination against LGBT people.

Romaine Patterson, founder of Angel Action

a deadly silence

Just found this leaflet, "If I told you" via QuakerPagan. It's a collection of essays by LGBT college students. It really highlights the damage caused by homophobia. Make sure you have a box of tissues handy.

to all you gays and lesbians here at Gordon, who I’m sure will pick up this collection of essays as eagerly as I will, and will probably try to read it as nonchalantly, hi. I wish we knew each other, because we would probably all be a lot happier and healthier if we had a support system. Hopefully someday, even here at Gordon, we will.

The contributor goes on to suggest an experiment for straight people to help them understand what it's like being in the closet:

So here’s my experiment for you: Spend a day, in your head, imagining that people look on straight people the way they look on gay people, and adjust your behavior accordingly, to keep anyone from finding out where your desires lie.

Stop yourself every time you are going to comment aloud on the merits of the opposite sex. And when you are only thinking it to yourself, imagine that your whole life people have told you that the thoughts you are thinking are evil and hellbound. If you have a significant other, spend a day without them. Don’t contact them in public, or let anyone know how much you love them. Don’t let anyone know if you are thinking of entering into a committed, monogamous relationship with them (being gay means having to specify up front that your relationship will be committed and monogamous), and don’t let anyone know how safe and accepted and loved—how whole—their presence makes you feel. Because if people knew, who knows what they would say or how they would treat you from then on.

But don’t try this experiment for more than a day, because you will probably start to feel lonely, depressed and isolated, and there’s no need for that. You’re straight.

Sodom rising

Yes! Yes! Yes!

We are Apollo and Dionysus walking in fields of hyacinths and narcissi. We are Gilgamesh building civilisation. We are more man than you will ever be, cocksucker. We fuck men and are fucked by them. We have no fear of being thought unmanly. We, the Elders of Sodom, know that you fear us, and that makes you our bitch, cocksucker.
...
There is one objective moral truth, we say, if there is any that can truly be considered objective. It is that your prime duty as an adult human being is to use all of the facts and faculties you possess, all of your wisdom, all of your reason and passion, to question your own beliefs with utmost rigour, to exercise your ethical judgement independent of the mores shaped and instilled in you by social forces, to ignore the mob outside and the disquiet within, to trust no authority but your own empathy, and ask yourself: what do I say is ethical?
...
Sodom is rising, as a bright and morning star. Raise up your eyes to see the glory before you, the eternal city of flames and salt, the city of our naked flesh.

from Hal Duncan, The Protocols of the Elders of Sodom

Hal's blog post was written in response to some bigot posting a homophobic comment on his blog. It's an utterly brilliant demolition of the so-called "moral" and "Christian" response to gay rights. I want to sign the Protocols. The post is very long, but it's well worth reading the whole thing (though I skipped the quotes from the homophobe unless I needed to know the context of Hal's comments).

conscience, what conscience?

I find it hard to believe that anyone could be so tender of their conscience that they're prepared to deny children the opportunity to be adopted because their religion disapproves of the potential adopters' sexuality. People that bigoted don't have a right to claim that they have a conscience.

I'm delighted to see that John Davies has declared himself against the Church of England's and Catholic church's position on the issue of same-sex couples adopting children, and so has Joe Gordon.

You can't impose your religion on others. Over at the Cynical-C blog, Chris reports on Muslim cab drivers trying to ban alcohol in their cabs, a similar attempt to impose religion on others. The Board of Deputies of British Jews has distanced itself from Christian protests on the issue, and was advocating a more moderate position on the gay adoption issue:

"It must be possible for people to live their lives in the manner in which they choose as long as it does not impinge upon the rights of others," a spokesman for the Board of Deputies said Thursday.

"We hope that to this effect the regulations will be framed in such a way that allows for both the effective combating of discrimination in the provision of goods and services whilst respecting freedom of conscience and conviction." -- European Jewish Press

But I don't see how, in this case, such a compromise can be achieved - either none of the adoption services discriminate against same-sex couples, or there's hardly any point in adopting the law. Otherwise this leaves a loophole for religious groups to say that their conscience told them they had to harass gay people, burn down churches that aren't Christian enough, attack Pagan shops, or otherwise enact their bigoted opinions.

wedding bells

Gay marriage is now legal in South Africa - the first African country to legalise it, in spite of opposition from Christians there. Great news, well done South Africa!

Gay marriage around the world

Meanwhile, there are still many countries where homosexuality is illegal, unfortunately, and many where LGBT people are persecuted (even if it is not technically illegal).

outrageous

I've just been alerted to this nonsense by Synesis: new legislation is supposed to extend gay rights to not being discriminated against in the areas of hospitality, healthcare and adoption, among other things. However, the Cabinet is now split over what to do about homophobic religious organisations who do not want to offer their services to gay and lesbian people.

There is no excuse for homophobia in any context - if you take the fact that being gay is completely natural and the fact that according to monotheist theology, their god created everything including gays, then clearly he must have made them gay, so it's completely illogical (not to mention immoral) to say that gayness is wrong.

And people wonder why I say that Christianity is dangerous. Not necessarily Christians - some of them have transcended this nonsense and embraced an inclusive ethic - but Christianity as it is taught in the Bible.

You can't enact a piece of legislation and then allow a huge swathe of the population to ignore it. Although, as Synesis points out, gay people probably wouldn't want to spend their money with homophobic organisations anyway. But, as happened to a gay couple last year who booked a room in a guesthouse and then when they turned up, the owner turned them away, you might not know it was homophobic till you got there. And then you'd be left standing in the rain with nowhere to go.

If, after reading this, you still don't understand why I think Christianity is dangerous, read this as well.