Thursday, June 26, 2008

ancient tabloid frenzy

Western Paradise Gazette, 26th Ipip 6250

Queen Isis in single mother row
Isis
IT HAS BEEN exclusively revealed today that Isis, queen of the gods and throne of the heavens, brunette mother of one, is bringing up her child alone. The government of the Kingdom of the West is said to be in crisis, as this undermines their policy of tax breaks for married couples. Social services were considering taking Horus (5) into care.

A spokesbeing for the government said, "We are concerned about the absence of a positive male role model for the boy. His uncle Set is currently standing trial for murder, and Isis has been seen to be accompanied by Sekhmet, who is known to have had violent episodes, and Ishtar Kilili, who was last week arrested for soliciting."

Iduna was said to be reconsidering her policy of golden apples for all deities, citing the possible decline in the economy if golden apples were given to everyone regardless of their contribution to society. The share price of ambrosia has also declined sharply in response to this news; there was panic-buying of shares in Stork Transit, Inc.

Queen Isis, still in mourning for her dead husband Osiris (dismembered in a bizarre fertility ritual, allegedly by Set) declined to give an interview. Her lawyer, Thoth, read a prepared statement, saying only, "There's nothing magical about fathers."


Breaking news...

3 comments:

seithman said...

Funny!

Yvonne said...

Glad you enjoyed it :)

genexs said...

Heh, well done! I'll link to this post later today.

cheers,
Gene